ITS ALL IN A WORD

Wednesday, 1 July 2015

One of the key presuppositions in NLP is “the meaning of the communication is in the response that you get”. Works can say much less than expected, yet so much more than planned…

ITS ALL IN A WORD

ITS ALL IN THE WORDS

Do our words really mean so little?

WELL, IF THAT'S TRUE, then why do so many people get into arguments over words? Do you think some people listen better than others? Do you think some people listen to themselves as they speak?

I'M ON A TRAIN one day and two men are having a conversation and one asks the other, "So where are you from?" and the other replies, "Birmingham." So the other asks, "Lived there all your life?" and the other responds, "Not, yet." And I burst out laughing, of course. You can't even get a comedy writer to write better lines.

SO, AS YOU SPEAK, do you listen to what you're saying? I know this seems like just a simple thing. But just stop for a moment . . . say something aloud and listen to it. I mean really listen to the words as they leave your mouth. Listen to them through your ears! Not on the inside, but on the outside. Now, if you can practice this each and every time you speak, and also build in a feedback loop for YOURSELF, you're ahead of many other people. We all make mistakes and sometimes say the wrong thing, but worse, some people don't even know they're doing it. When you can hear and listen to what you're saying you can correct it, massage it, etc. Is it ever too late? NEVER!!

NOW JUST THINK, if you can do that, then use a little time distortion, a little super-sensory perception, you can calibrate the other person word by word as you say something, and watch each and every reaction or response from them. You can also do the same while they speak. You can notice if they are paying attention to what they're saying.

I HAD AN EXPERIENCE a while ago with a rather large business who for the time shall remain nameless, but their customer service was so poor, I may just use them as a case study coming up soon…. I had emailed their MD, because they extended the invitation on their website. I got an auto-responder, then another, etc.

Well, I finally called and got through to their office, reached one of their assistants who sounded like they were dead and forgot to get buried. And when she asked me how she could help me, I told her and listed about 6 things and the problems I had been encountering. I clearly went beyond that 7 plus or minus 2 thing. So I stopped, backtracked and just gave her the first one. She asked what I expected her to do about it. So I told her. She told me she couldn't, and asked if I had another suggestion. So I gave her another. She said that that wasn't possible. The delay, the loooooonnnnnnng pauses between my question and her response was sooooooooo long, I could have done an entire seminar between the times.

AS SHE SPOKE, however, it was clear to me that she wasn't listening to what she herself was saying, because if she were, she'd have stopped.
Now, if you think that what you're saying is important, but you're not listening to yourself, then how important is what the other person is saying to you? And are you listening to them, really hearing and listening to what they're saying?

REMEMBER: WORDS ARE JUST WORDS SO DO JUSTICE TO YOUR WORDS!!
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO LISTEN TO THEM!!

to discuss these ideas and find out more, please contact Mark Peters on 0121 251 6172

www.nhsnlp.co.uk