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Situations vacant

 

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Thursday, 23 May 2013

Situations vacant

Small healthcare organisation seeks chief executive. Generous pension and benefits package.

The ideal candidate will:

  • Exist
  • Have nothing to lose
  • Have no regard for personal safety or popularity
  • Have similar experience gained in a warzone, jungle or boxing gym.

Must be prepared to relocate entire organisation on regular basis.

You will be used to working with the hard-to-reach and disadvantaged including GPs, nurses and Old Etonians; ready to change course every five years; a fluent NHS-speaker preferably also with conversational English; open to new ideas that coincide with your own; a good listener with consummate people skills (desirable not essential); comfortable dealing with the media with your bare hands.

The ideal candidate will be good with figures and ready to give 110% at all times.

You will be a hands-on leader ready to exert grip particularly when your own job is slipping away from you.

Would suit political bruiser with Teflon trousers or anyone prepared to give it a go.

Apply with CV to J Hunt, c/o House of Commons, Westminster before March 2014.

(Careers adviser: NHS Networks)

 
Anonymous says:
May 24, 2013 08:03 AM
Congratulations on writing an excellent Job Description - many a true word is set in jest! You never, however, mentioned anything about how many meetings you needed to attend or how little anything will get done!
Anonymous says:
May 24, 2013 09:46 AM
I dont think it helps being so synical after all we can expect a deluge of candidates from the Private Sector wiling to take on such fine roles, us public sector life timers are under threat (not).
Anonymous says:
May 24, 2013 10:13 AM
I'm sure it's not really funny but it made me smile - hey ho on with the day job.
Anonymous says:
May 26, 2013 12:55 AM
Oh, yes, it is funny! Somewhat tongue in cheek, as ever - but if prospective applicants had half as much direction as the editor's blogs - we might just have half a chance of salvaging the future