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Transformation accelerator could change everything


Blog headlines

  • UK’s National Health Service teams up with the Radio Society of Great Britain to improve health and wellbeing
    4 March 2021

    This week's blog is by Paul Devlin, Emergency Care Improvement Support Team (ECIST), NHS England and NHS Improvement.

  • Structuring a PCN Social Prescribing Service for the post COVID world
    25 February 2021

    This week we have a blog by Nick Sharples.

  • Community-Oriented Integrated Care
    18 February 2021

    The blog this week is a short extract from a paper considering an approach primary care networks could use to move towards community-oriented integrated care.

  • Strategy Unit releases opensource model for planning vaccine centre capacity
    11 February 2021

    This week's blog is from The Strategy Unit who are sharing an opensource model to help with vaccine centre capacity planning.

  • Time to talk day
    4 February 2021

    A small conversation about mental health has the power to make a big difference.

  • Supporting Staff: the emergence of ‘long-covid’
    28 January 2021

    As we are now well into a second, or is it now the third, wave of Covid-19 it is becoming apparent that Covid is something we have not experienced before and it has unique implications for staff management. It is not just the possibility that staff may become acutely ill with the virus, but that for some they may go on to develop persistent debilitating symptoms that will affect their ability to go back to work. This article looks at the implications of long-covid for HR and service managers when looking to support health care professionals (HCPs) return to work.

  • Link of the week: Clinically-Led workforce and Activity Redesign (CLEAR)
    21 January 2021

    This week we are sharing a link to the Clinically-Led workforce and Activity Redesign (CLEAR) site that is funded by Health Education England.

  • So much more than an extra pair of hands
    14 January 2021

    The introduction of the additional roles reimbursement scheme for primary care networks has started to grow capacity in general practice to address the unsustainably high workload that has put so much pressure on GPs.

  • Primary Care Networks – how did we get here?
    7 January 2021

    This week we are sharing a blog by PCC’s chairman David Colin-Thomé.

  • A year like no other
    17 December 2020

    On 5 July 1948 the NHS was born, over the last 72 years challenges and changes have been remarkable but the service has probably never been tested as much as in the last nine months. There have previously been numerous re-organisations, multiple changes to hospitals, mental health services and a shift from the family doctor towards more integrated primary care services delivered by a range of professionals. However, rapid transformation of services to embrace digital technologies, and a shift change to work differently has been forced upon all areas of the health service this year.

  • Guest blog: David Hotchin
    11 December 2020

    This week we have a guest blog that was submitted to us by David Hotchin, written by a retired friend....obviously, he's used a little poetic licence.

  • What now for commissioning?
    3 December 2020

    By Professor David Colin-Thomé, OBE, chair of PCC and formerly a GP for 36 years, the National Clinical Director of Primary, Dept of Health England 2001- 10 and visiting Professor Manchester and Durham Universities.

  • What White people don’t see
    26 November 2020

    This year’s Black History Month (BHM) has, unfortunately, in its shadow another example of why campaigns like this exist.

  • Primary Care: Why don’t we talk about Racism?
    20 November 2020

    Rita Symons is an ex NHS leader who is now a leadership consultant, coach and facilitator. Her work is mainly in the NHS and she is an associate for PCC offering facilitation, coaching, strategy development and team development activities. She is a concerned but hopeful world citizen and combines work in the NHS with a board role in a non for profit organisation and an interest in writing.

  • Primary Care and the Health of the Public
    12 November 2020

    By Professor David Colin-Thomé, OBE, chair of PCC and formerly a GP for 36 years, the National Clinical Director of Primary, Dept of Health England 2001- 10 and visiting Professor Manchester and Durham Universities.

  • What now for primary care
    4 November 2020

    By Professor David Colin-Thomé, OBE, chair of PCC and formerly a GP for 36 years, the National Clinical Director of Primary, Dept of Health England 2001- 10 and visiting Professor Manchester and Durham Universities.

  • Boosting your resilience
    30 October 2020

    The last year has been a difficult one, who would have imagined last Christmas that we would have been in lockdown, with the NHS seriously tested by a global pandemic. So much change has happened and the resilience of people working in and with health and care services has been seriously tested. Resilience is our ability to deal with, find strengths in and/or recover from difficult situations. Its sometimes referred to as “bounceabiliy” – but bouncing in what way?

  • Link of the week: National Cholesterol Month
    23 October 2020

    Every month or week of the year seems to be an awareness week, October has more than its fair share.

  • New redeployment service offers talent pool of motivated, work-ready individuals
    15 October 2020

    People 1st International have shared some of the work they are doing to support people displaced from industries due to the Covid-19 pandemic. There is an opportunity for health and care services to benefit from this workforce.

  • Link of the week
    9 October 2020

    Article published in the BMJ looking at the ability of the health service to quickly bounce back to pre-Covid levels of activity and considers if it is desirable.

Thursday, 29 June 2017

Transformation accelerator could change everything

Further news emerged this week of a prototype artificial intelligence system that could one day teach itself to solve difficult problems, such as how to save the NHS.

The Sentient Electro-Nuclear Transformation Accelerator (SENTA) is an NHS version of CERN’s Large Hadron Collider: a 27 kilometre ring of superconducting managers hidden in an extensive network of tunnels in central London. NHS England claims it is the world’s biggest innovation accelerator, although the North Koreans are thought to be building an even bigger one.

In trials, raw ideas fed into the SENTA were propelled at speeds several times the speed of light until they fused with other half-baked thought particles and emerged as positively charged innovations.

“The ideas don’t have to be any good, they just need to be driven at warp speeds, at which point they generate immense heat,” said an NHS England spokesman.

Scientists are hoping that in future the process may also produce light.

Blasted around the ring

Other possibilities include being able to use the machine as a “personnel accelerator”. NHS managers could be blasted around the ring until they become hyper-productive or disappear up themselves. For those already up themselves, the accelerator could cause them to develop near-human characteristics.

The SENTA’s ability to bend time and make infinite atomic subdivisions means that it could also solve critical workforce shortages. Instead of waiting a decade for 5000 extra GPs or 40,000 more nurses, one or two “donors” from each profession could be fed into the machine, which would churn out hundreds of clones in a matter of minutes.

The spokesman said: “By injecting suitable material into the collider at the point of atomic fusion, we could design in the characteristics we want, such as placid acceptance of rising workload, enthusiasm for ACOs and an aversion to contracts for life. Similarly, undesirable characteristics, such as belonging to the BMA or demanding a pay rise, could be factored out.”

Largescale replication engine

All of these applications should be possible when the SENTA is capable of rational thought at full operational speeds, NHS England says. In its current form, the machine is mainly used for simple low-speed initiative recycling.

The spokesman warned that extensive testing would need to be done before the SENTA could be deployed for real-world transformation.

“In the meantime we’re going to keep doing the same thing until we get a different result,” he said.

NHS England denies that the billions of pounds spent on the SENTA have been wasted.   

The spokesman said: “We will start to roll it out across STP footprints as soon as all stakeholders are engaged, we’ve hardwired the integrated whole-system capability and we’ve got suitable assurance and governance arrangements in place.

“Until then, think of it as an extremely large photocopier, but very much more expensive to run.” 

Science editor: Julian Patterson


Anonymous says:
Jun 30, 2017 08:03 AM

Thank you, thank you, thank you! There is nothing better than some insightful and ingenious silliness on a Friday morning.

Julian Patterson
Julian Patterson says:
Jun 30, 2017 08:55 AM

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it

Judy Aldred
Judy Aldred says:
Jun 30, 2017 08:30 AM

You keep surpassing yourself. I have a new favourite!

Julian Patterson
Julian Patterson says:
Jun 30, 2017 08:54 AM

Thanks, Judy

david seabrooke
david seabrooke says:
Jun 30, 2017 08:55 AM

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Water main - my foot. The Thames Water Ring Main (TWRM) (formerly the London Water Ring Main/LWRM) is a major part of London's water supply infrastructure, approximately 80 km (50 mi) of mostly 2.54 m (100 in) concrete pipelines to transfer potable water from water treatment works (WTWs) in the Thames and River Lea catchments for distribution within London.[1]
The initial ring was constructed by Thames Water between 1988 and 1993. Two extensions have been constructed, and there are plans for further extensions through to 2025.
We should also worry about the possibility of a black hole being created over central London when this thing is started-up - I read something on-line about that, so it must be true.

Julian Patterson
Julian Patterson says:
Jun 30, 2017 09:35 AM

I'd like to think your fears were unfounded David, but An ominous dark mass hangs over Skipton House. That could be the start of it...