Media training for dentists
Dentists, if you’re going to shoot a lion, make sure you have a good story ready for the press in case things don’t work out as you hoped.
“Dentist slays lion”, would usually warrant only a small news item, unless it happened in Macclesfield or Penge. But shooting a celebrity lion, even in Africa, is a PR disaster.
After all those root canals, inflamed gums and impacted molars, who can blame a chap for seeking a bit of excitement? The dentist got his wish and now has more excitement than he can handle. Like his victim, he also knows how it feels to be hunted by thrill-seeking idiots - or the media and the baying mob as they are also known.
The story has all the classic elements of a “how not to” of crisis management.
Here are some lines to avoid:
“I shot the wrong lion” – not a winning tactic, unless you can convince people that there’s a more deserving or “right” lion you might have shot instead.
“I didn’t know he was famous” – your concern for the social status of your victim makes you appear shallow as well as brutal. This is rarely an attractive combination, except in parts of the music industry.
“I’m really very sorry” – usually fine when directed to the victim or the victim’s family. In this case the apology was issued to the dentist’s patients, none of whom are lions, and could easily be mistaken for a desperate act of self-interest rather than one of genuine contrition.
Although this is an extreme case, there are few situations beyond the reach of a good spin doctor.
It was said of the medic turned mass murderer, Harold Shipman, that he was “a good doctor, but a bad man”, a brilliant piece of spin designed both to exonerate Shipman’s employers for failing to notice his homicidal tendencies and to reassure the public that other doctors could still be trusted.
Bill Clinton showed that it is possible to admit a crime but get off on a technicality with his claim that he almost tried marijuana at college but could not bring himself to inhale – his precocious presidential instincts getting the better of his weaker studenty self.
The closest parallel to our lion-slaying dentist is the hunting incident in which US vice president Dick Cheney shot a 78 year old man in the face after mistaking him for a quail. The man made a full recovery, but Mr Cheney will have been aware that he could have relied on public sympathy if the affair had ended badly - his victim was a lawyer.
There is no such obvious defence in the case of Cecil the lion, but with the right advice the dentist could have entered a plea of mitigation. All he needed to do was imply partial culpability on the part of the lion, show that he had done his best in difficult circumstances and express professional regret for a less than wholly successful clinical outcome, taking care not to admit liability.
“The lion was clearly in some discomfort, possibly as a result of poor oral hygiene. I was attempting to administer a local anaesthetic when my hunting rifle accidentally went off. It is a matter of sincere regret that the patient did not survive, but thanks to my swift intervention the lion is not expected to suffer any further dental problems.”
Wildlife editor: Julian Patterson
@NHSnetworks
websupport@networks.nhs.uk
An absolute classic. Made my Friday.