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All the latest health policy news from the general **** campaign

 

Blog headlines

  • Link of the week
    9 July 2020

    This week we are sharing a blog from the NHS Confederation’s “ NHS Reset” looking at the work of Healthwatch, the role of volunteers in supporting patients being discharged from hospital and the importance of the community.

  • Virtual education sessions on spinal cord injury from Spinal Injuries Association
    2 July 2020

    This week Karen Mikalsen from the Spinal Injuries Association shares some information on their work and events for healthcare professionals.

  • Guest blog:Karen Chumley
    25 June 2020

    Thank you to Karen Chumley for a second blog –this time on the local use of an Electronic Palliative Care Coordination system during the Covid-19 pandemic. Karen is the Clinical Director and Deputy CEO at St Helena.

  • Link of the week
    19 June 2020

    This week's link of the week is article by Yasmin Khanagha published in Nursing Times – Why we need to open the conversation about racism.

  • Guest blog: Dr Karen Chumbley
    12 June 2020

    This week we have a guest blog submitted by Dr Karen Chumbley, clinical director and deputy chief executive at St Helena (https://www.sthelena.org.uk/)

  • Social care to become lifestyle brand
    16 April 2020

    Social care is to get a new brand identity as the government seeks to reverse the perception that it is the poor relation of the NHS.

  • Blithering Covid-19 bulletin plays vital role
    2 April 2020

    To fill a gap in the market for timely and relevant Covid-19 information, Martin Plackard, director of global crisis communications at NHS Blithering introduces his latest initiative to reach out to stakeholders during the outbreak.

  • Social distancing the Longstay way
    27 March 2020

    We asked Sir Trevor Longstay, chief executive of the NHS Blithering University Hospitals Foundation Trust and commander-in-chief of the Blithering Covid-19 Taskforce to give us some practical tips on social distancing. Here he shares some of the lessons learned over four decades of leadership – not all of them relevant or epidemiologically sound

  • Nothing left to shift: fears grow over NHS paradigm supply
    12 March 2020

    The government has issued a stark warning that stocks of paradigms and other basic supplies could soon run out if NHS managers continue panic-buying.

  • Matt Hancock’s diary – a week of levelling up
    27 February 2020

    Taking personal charge of global pandemics is one of the perks of this job. I’m referring to coronavirus, of course, and I’m booked to appear on Sky News to talk about it.

  • Exceeding your expectations: the Blithering staff survey
    20 February 2020

    Staff at NHS Blithering feel listened to “at least once a year” and report that their expectations of taking part in surveys have been “met” or “exceeded” in the past 12 months.

  • Martin Plackard’s week: Tuesday
    7 February 2020

    The second in our series of privileged insights to the working life of Martin Plackard, the NHS’s most gifted communicator

  • Martin Plackard’s week: Monday
    30 January 2020

    First in an occasional series of glimpses into a typical week in the life of Martin Plackard, the NHS's most influential strategic communicator

  • A quick guide to quick guides
    24 January 2020

    Few of us have time for long documents that take ages to read or a lot of expertise to put together. That’s where quick guides come in.

  • Towards people and impact
    17 January 2020

    This week the Royal Pharmaceutical Society advertised for a head of engagement and belonging. Such titles can be controversial – but not for Martin Plackard, whose CV features a number of leadership roles in the fields of impact, euphemism management and talent delivery.

  • National log-in reset will change everything
    9 January 2020

    This week the Department of Health and Social Care announced a £40m investment to make it easier to log-in to NHS computers. It’s a laudable aim, akin to fitting a keyless entry system to a Ford Anglia to make it go faster.

  • Martin Plackard’s top tips for making a difference in 2020
    3 January 2020

    NHS Blithering’s Martin Plackard MBE was recognised in the new year honours list for services to strategic communications and meaningful engagement. Here he gives his top tips for others who hope to make a very real difference to people, communities and their own career prospects in 2020.

  • My amazing Twitter year – by Matt Hancock
    20 December 2019

    It's been a fantastic year on social media for the secretary of state for health and the other thing. Here it is in very nearly his own words

  • Sustainability and transformation parties: mandatory guidance
    5 December 2019

    As Christmas fast approaches, system leaders are getting ready for so-called sustainability and transformation parties, the highlight of the year for those who enjoy kinky integration with strangers.

  • All the latest health policy news from the general **** campaign
    29 November 2019

    Because purdah is still in force, this week’s **** has been heavily redacted. Here are the main parties’ plans for government as set out in their manifestos. A full unexpurgated version can be obtained from **** Party HQ.

 
 
Friday, 29 November 2019

All the latest health policy news from the general **** campaign

Because purdah is still in force, this week’s **** has been heavily redacted. Here are the main parties’ plans for government as set out in their manifestos. A full unexpurgated version can be obtained from **** Party HQ.

The **** Party

The prime **** announced that the **** Party would provide the NHS with 50,000 more nurses.  Later, the secretary of state for health and **** **** struggled to explain the numbers after it emerged that 18,500 of the total would be accounted for by preventing existing staff from leaving.

“When I said more, I really meant not less and definitely not just the same amount,” said Matt **** pointing out that the figure would have been much higher if it had included all the nurses currently employed by the NHS.

Opposition parties said 50,000 was a “suspiciously round number” and accused the minister of “plucking the figure out of thin ****”.  

Mr **** also defended his party’s pledge to employ 6000 new GPs. This he said was a 20% increase on the number of new family doctors promised by his predecessor **** [name misspelt], and several thousand percent bigger than the number that actually materialised.

The **** are also promising to build 40 more **** of which six would be new and the rest would be “certainly not fewer than we have now and definitely not older”.

The **** Party

In the biggest news of the week, the **** leader Jeremy **** said he had uncovered “definitive proof” of a **** Party plot to sell the NHS to President ****.

The evidence for the claim was contained in an explosive report disguised as a dull, technical document about drug pricing. Mr **** waved redacted versions at a press conference with all the boring bits – 450 of the document’s 451 pages – crossed out. “This puts it beyond doubt that there is a **** plot led by the billionaires in charge of the BBC to sell our **** to the United States of ****,” he said.

In a bold seven-point plan, Mr **** promised to:

  1. Remove the listing for the NHS from eBay with immediate effect
  2. Give NHS staff a **** percent pay rise
  3. Transfer 120,000 hairdressers to social **** and introduce free personal grooming to bring over-65s up to the standards of the **** Party leadership
  4. Employ an extra 100,000 staff in frontline **** by ending zero-hours contracts, retrain pizza delivery staff as paramedics, take Uber into public ownership and convert every Toyota Prius in the country for use as green ambulances   
  5. Plant an NHS forest to make it impossible to see the wood for the ****
  6. Put a cap on the number of awkward questions the Institute of **** Studies would be permitted to ask about the affordability of spending plans and taxation.

Editor: Julian ****
julian.patterson@networks.nhs.uk

 
geraint thomas
geraint thomas says:
Nov 29, 2019 04:24 PM

Bloody brilliant!

Dr MT Alban
Dr MT Alban says:
Nov 29, 2019 04:31 PM

Little makes me laugh in the NHS these days, but your post always do. Very good indeed.

Jonathan Wells
Jonathan Wells says:
Nov 29, 2019 05:23 PM

It is hard for satire to keep ahead of the craziness of everyday life but this column is one of the highlights of my week. The scary thing is that it is actually closer to the truth of today's NHS than most NHS Trust Board reports and political pronouncements.

Julian Patterson
Julian Patterson says:
Dec 01, 2019 11:07 AM

Thanks for the comments above - and enjoy what's left of your weekends